Pillar 2 of 9
Mental Fortitude
Keeping the structure upright when the storms arrive.
Does your mind keep circling the same problem at two in the morning? You are not alone. I am Chris Ellison (BSW, MSW, MBA), and in nearly thirty years as a therapist I have watched capable people lose sleep over problems they had already thought through.
What it means: mental fortitude is not toughness. It is how well you steady yourself and bounce back when life gets hard. One of the biggest drains is the Fairness Trap, the belief that effort should always be rewarded. Every bit of energy spent on “this shouldn’t be happening” is energy you cannot use on “what am I going to do about it?”
How it shows up in your life: replaying conversations, reacting hard to small things, numbing out with screens, and feeling your footing slip when something goes wrong.
Try this today: get off the emotional roller coaster. Take one sheet of paper and write down everything about the problem: what happened, your part in it, what you can still do, and what is out of your hands. Then reread it. Most of the time you find you have already thought of everything, and for today, things are okay enough.
This is one of nine pillars in my book, A Life Well-Lived. Get the first word when it is ready. Next: Pillar 3, Relationship Health →
General information for reflection, not therapy or treatment. If you are struggling, please reach out to a professional. In a crisis, contact a local crisis line or emergency services.
